Twenty (Something)

I figured that Maggie’s blog site may potentially be my greatest opportunity where a lot of people will actually click a link and read and listen to what I have to say. When she asked me to write something (or rather after I begged and she graciously approved), I wondered…should I write about something funny that makes people laugh? Something heartfelt that makes people cry? Or something that just really pisses people off? I know most of my close friends would rather choose “None of the above. We already hear you talk enough.” But for the sake of Maggie taking the risk of possibly losing the loyalty of her most devoted readers with my post, I’ve tried my best to provide a proper balance of those three options.

Now that I’m a boy in my late twenties, I’ve made a very strong effort to progress my juvenile way of thinking into a broader understanding and wisdom of life’s greatest truth. It was not an easy process and required minutes upon minutes of deep thinking…but I eventually got there. So maybe now you’re at least moderately curious about what I have to say, or maybe you’ve already left the page. Regardless, without further adieu, here’s what that truth is…

Television shows will never be as good as they were from 1990-2003. 

I wanted to provide a nice tribute to this truth by an engraving on a tombstone, but since I chose to pay slightly over ten dollars per letter for the highest level of quality, I briefly shortened the message to read: 

Thank you NINETIES TELEVISION for your commitment to providing such a premium quality of entertainment which helped mold and create possibly one of the top three most amazing generations this great nation of America has ever seen in the entirety of its illustrious history. Rest In Peace. Nineteen ninety to two thousand and three. 

It was an era that spawned at the exact moment Jessie Spanos emotionally sang to Zach Morris about how excited she was after ingesting a few too many caffeine pills, and ultimately ended with the series premiere of “That’s So Raven” on the Disney channel thirteen years later. Now, I realize that all Golden Ages must eventually come to an end, but this one fell far too soon. I remember learning in astronomy class growing up that the brightest stars always burned the quickest. I’m just glad I got to witness the bright light of this Golden Age of Television shoot across the sky, if only for a brief moment in time.

Okay, I guess I have to admit…maybe this isn’t life’s greatest truth, but it does lead us to the real truth in all of this - which is that I actually have no idea what the hell life’s greatest truth really is. I only said that I did to try and get you interested enough to read this. To be quite honest, I’m even more lost in this world right now at the age of 26 than I was when I was 9 years old and had all the wisdom I ever needed. But now that you’re committed to see where in the world I’m going with this, let me at least provide my perspective on why most of us twenty (somethings) that grew up on 90’s television are currently struggling to figure this whole “life” thing out.

It all began a little over twenty years ago, back when Will Smith had started making trouble in the neighborhood and Mr. Feeny had just gotten a fresh new batch of 6th graders he’d somehow end up teaching every year through middle school, high school and college. It was back when we’d countdown the days until TGIF so we could take pleasure in witnessing the lives of our virtual friends and family again. It was back when our significantly life inexperienced minds had just stumbled upon the instruction manual on how to navigate through childhood and adolescence.

So now you’re probably not asking, why is 90’s television the best, Brian? Great question! Well…it’s because these shows took us through a journey of emotional highs and lows. They guided us through the valleys and peaks of the funny moments, the mad moments and the sad moments. Between the siblings on Step-by-Step and Louis and Ren on Even Stevens, I learned at very young age that it was normal for brothers and sisters to not always get along. Shortly after, when I was eight years old watching Boy Meets World, I watched Shawn Hunter humorously listen to his father’s terrible advice on how to hit on women…and then saw him emotionally witness his father pass away as he sat next to his hospital bed episodes later. When I was twelve, I sat next to my Grandmother on a park bench as she taught me how to burp for the first time…and one year later, I was standing next to her casket saying goodbye to someone I loved for the first time. 

Whether you realize it or not, we all used these shows as a measuring stick of our lives as we grew up. We took comfort in the fact that whatever struggles we were going through, Cory, Shawn and Topanga were going through too. With very little life experience in the world to teach us how to handle the unpredictable problems we’d face, 90’s TV was our experience.

Fast forward thirteen years later. 

Which now leads us to the year 2016, far past the trials and tribulations of the adolescent youth and on to the life of the twenty (somethings). A time where we are all trying to navigate our way through a completely different landscape.  It is an age of cloudiness and confusion…and I’m not just talking about the late drunken nights at karaoke with friends where you forget and then regret your 8 AM drive to work the next morning. No, this is more so a period that I like to call “The Treacherous Sea”. We are all rushing to get out of this sea of confusion we live in because it’s the first point in our lives where there is no moral compass to guide us through. It is a sea where age is no longer just a number like it used to be, but a measurement of what place in the race you’re in. Twenty-six isn’t just twenty-six anymore when your friend has a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and child, and you’re still rolling out of bed alone in your cheap apartment searching for the least wrinkled shirt and the least smelly pair of socks to wear (Sorry, Mom. You raised me better). It now seems that we’re all racing through the waves of the treacherous sea to land upon what I call “The Island of Eternal Sunshine and Crystal Blue Waters”. This is the only other piece of land we knew growing up. It was the far off speck of green we peered across the ocean to. The land of potential, fulfillment, happiness and hope. It was our parents, our grandparents, our coaches or our teachers. Even we knew back then that one day we’d have to cross the treacherous sea to get to the land of the true adult. So here we are right now, racing to get to the island of eternal sunshine and crystal blue waters. Some of us are sailing, some of us are swimming…and some of us are miles behind just trying not to sink. Where is my end of episode pep talk, with the orchestra playing in the background, telling me that everything is going to be okay? Where is the comforting fatherly voice of Danny Tanner, or the infinite wisdom of Mr. Feeny next door when I need it most? I guess I’m now far beyond the distance to look back at the encouraging messages that came across my box shaped television set seventeen years ago.

Because I’m a product of comparison resulting from 1990’s/early 2000’s television, I often ask myself as an “adult” in my late twenties, where I’m currently at in the race through the treacherous sea. Am I falling behind Cory Matthews? Am I swimming ahead of Shawn Hunter? Am I catching up to Louis Stevens? I don’t know…I really…don’t…No, wait…I am starting to remember one thing. I watched A LOT of TV growing up, and something I remember is that I never felt rushed or raced to get to the next episode too quickly. I enjoyed being in the moment and riding through the conflicts and the hardships the characters went through. It was the excitement in not knowing what was going to happen next. It was the joy in experiencing the beautiful balance of the funny moments, the mad moments and the sad moments.

So right now as I lay here waiting in bed in my cute onesie banana pajamas, grasping the edge of my batman covers, afraid to grow up…I’ve suddenly realized that Danny Tanner, Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey aren’t coming upstairs to teach me my good night lesson anymore.  Maybe it’s because I learned it a long time ago.

***CUE ENDING MESSAGE INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC***

Wait!!! Damn it!!! The violins have started playing!!! And Bob Saget isn’t here to share a valuable message with us!  Looking around the empty room, I guess that responsibility is up to me now, so I’ll keep it short and sweet:

Someday after we’ve all made it to the island of eternal sunshine and crystal blue waters, and we look back on the sleepless nights where we tossed and turned over the balance in our bank accounts and our broken dreams…we will lift our drinks and laugh as we remember that we were only just twenty (something).