Labels, Fixed Identities, and Suffering REVISITED: Contradictory 'Words of Wisdom'

In Label, Fixed Identities, and Suffering, I talked about how fixed identities are a source of suffering in our culture. Lately, I've been playing with the idea that our culture has an infinite number of 'words of wisdom' or 'words to live by' - we are a culture of quotes and posters and pinning concise little sayings on social media that resonate with us. Most users of Pinterest have a page dedicated to quotes they like, I sure do. I've even created a wall of quotes next to my bed that I read each morning as my inspiration for the day (above).

But when you look closely at the messages these words of wisdom convey, you start to see a dividing line - contradictions riddled throughout - you might be surprised to find within your own collection of  favorite quotes there are contradictory messages.

As I started to write about contradictory words of wisdom as a separate post, I realized that it is closely connected to the idea of fixed identities and suffering. We are bombarded with messages that contradict themselves, so anytime we latch on to an idea, like "be grateful with the here and now," we see messages saying something quite different, such as "always strive to be better."

We say, "I'm a person who is grateful and doesn't need anything to make me happier," but when we're faced with the message of, "it's important to work hard and never settle," suddenly the identity we've constructed for ourselves - and are fixed upon - is put into question.

No wonder we're suffering, most paradigms we align with have an equally valid opposing message. See if any of the below messages resonate with you:

1. Find ways to stay grounded.

2. Protect your heart.

3. Fear and pain don't serve us.

4. Honor the Universe's timing.

5. Take control of your life and own it.

6. We are all perfect beings created by God.

Now see if any of these resonate:

1. Embrace the groundless nature of life.

2. Be vulnerable.

3. Embrace fear and pain when they happen and learn from them.

4. Don't wait for things to happen, make them happen.

5. Release the need to control your life.

6. No one is perfect, so don't strive for perfection.

If any of the same number resonated with you, then you are relating to contradictory messages.

If you're a person who finds opportunities to ground yourself, but also believe that we live in a groundless world, then you are relating to contradictory messages.

If you believe that timing is everything but also believe you can't wait around for things to happen, then you are relating to contradictory messages.

This shouldn't freak you out or make you questions your beliefs - but it should point out the simple truth that we are not fixed identities, and don't need to fixate on one particular message.

We're not wishy-washy people if we want to be grounded but also embrace groundlessness - we're souls with an ever changing human experience. And experiences in the physical world ARE messy, and DON'T fit into nice concise sayings that we can pin on our Pinterest board, write on our Facebook wall, and frame in our house.

Does this mean we should banish all 'words of wisdom' from our lives? I don't think so. I'm not going to stop writing down my favorite quotes, or keeping words of wisdom close by when I want to reflect. But as you read them, take a second to separate yourself from the identity that is constructed when you fixate yourself to these words, and try not to hold on so tightly.

Let them come and go and inspire you one day and not mean squat to you the next...and be OK with that.